Breach the Hull — Peter Power Armor logo!

Two of my short stories are planned for a book called BREACH  THE HULL (due out in late 2007), an anthology of space-war tales. The editor Mike McPhail wanted to have logos, military ensignia, to represent something from each story. My first story “Forgotten Causes” stars the last space marine of long-dead mankind, who is on some mission so top secret that he himself is not cleared to know who he is or what he is doing, and he wakes in the middle of battle with an artificial amnesia. The insignia for this story was a Marine Corps looking deal.

Well, my second story was called “Peter Power Armor” which was based on my theory the same parents who want all kids to wear bicycyle helmets, in time of war would want STARSHIP TROOPERS-style Mecha to protect their children from snipers. (The right to buy weapons is the right to be free! Ergo the right to buy massive weapons is the right to be massively free!)

The insignia the editor drew up for this one was a Teddy Bear armed with a Vulcan auto-cannon and toy balloons. I rolled on the floor in puppy like delight to see so droll a design, and asked him if I could get it on a tee shirt or coffee mug or something. He granted my wish, and I wanted to share the news in case someone else wanted one:

Cafe Press: Breach the Hull

Just in time for Xmas! Now you can Wear the Shirt! Read the Book! and Sip from the Mug!

The image “http://jitcrunch.cafepress.com/jitcrunch.aspx?bG9hZD1ibGFuayxibGFuazoxMzhfRl9vMi5qcGd8bG9hZD1MMCxodHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLmNhZmVwcmVzcy5jb20vaW1hZ2UvMTY2MDY4NjRfNDAweDQwMC5qcGd8fHNjYWxlPUwwLDI0MywzNTIsV2hpdGV8Y29tcG9zZT1ibGFuayxMMCxBZGQsMTE4LDY0fGxvYWQ9bWFzayxibGFuazoxMzhfRl9tYXNrX28yLmpwZ3xjb21wb3NlPWJsYW5rLG1hc2ssTWFzaywwLDB8Y3A9cmVzdWx0LGJsYW5rfHNjYWxlPXJlc3VsdCwwLDQ4MCxXaGl0ZXxjb21wcmVzc2lvbj05NXw=” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

HISTORICAL NOTE: Xmas is a secular holiday beloved of Shopkeepers everywhere, during which grumpy people buy each other unwanted gifts in a hideous mockery of good cheer. It is presided over by Santy Clause, an advertising gimmick of the Coca Cola Bottling Company of Atlanta, who are the illuminati secretly controlling history–why else did the US troops drink Coke overseas? The Shopkeeper holiday falls on the same day as Christmas, presided over by St. Nicholas, during which all merry Christian gentlemen rest without dismay and eat goose to celebrate the savior’s birth–they are resting and merry because the good Christian ladies are the ones in the kitchen baking the cookies (something poor Mr. Clinton, for all his fame, cannot get his missus to do) while they watch the ball game on the telly. No doubt they are wearing Peter Power Armor sweaters and sipping from Peter Power Armor mugs! 

For those of you who have to travel on this day, remember the holiday also celebrates overcrowded Inns that double-booked or lost your reservation: and the spirit of Christian cheer reminds us all how much we hate paying taxes, or why astrology is actually good for you. For those of you who cannot afford gifts to give to baby Jesus, just come by like the Little Drummer Boy and pound your drums in his ear! Wait till he is sleeping; surely babies love loud noises! 

HISTORICAL NOTE UPDATE –THIS JUST IN: I’ve just been handed a report which shows the two holidays may be related to each other! Modern science has proven that Xmas actually has pagan roots in Germany of 1850, during which simple Teutons, who had been Christian since the time of the Saxon apostle Ewald the White (about A.D. 695), decorated pine trees! The pine tree was invented by pagans (Piney the Elder, in fact, after whom it was named) so that proves it!

7 Comments

  1. Comment by paulgo:

    The Cafepress link is broken.

    This is very cool. I like the logo and the concept (at least so far as I understand it). Very cool.

  2. Comment by Anonymous:

    parents’ buying protection

    Those are brilliant ideas. The second idea reminds me a little bit of an episode of Beverly Hillbillies when Jethro joins the Army, and Jed buys a tank for him to use. One interesting thing is that the future is now with regards to body armor and other things. There have been a lot of stories about parents buying body armor for their kids. There was also a fascinating story on NPR about a guy who owned a machine shop and his son wrote to him from Iraq and asked for his dad to fabricate a mount that would allow them to put a machine gun on their humvee so that it could swivel, etc. Anyway, the dad made one and it was so successful that he began selling them to the army.

    • Comment by admin:

      Re: parents’ buying protection

      Another editor bounced the story because he thought it was unrealistic.

      Unrelistic?! The story simply assumed enemy snipers would target the children of opposing nations. This was long before John Lee Malvo made the news.

      Sorry, I have kids. If I could suit them up so they’d have and inch-and-a-half of duranium-steel alloy on a fully articulated motorized exoskeleton, a radio link and a global satellite tracking device, plus a remote trigger so that that I could elevate the swivel mounted cannon, missle launcher, and flame-thrower to mow down like weeds any potential child molesters, you think I would not buy such a thing?

      Of course, I’d wait till they were fifteen before I’d give them the key to prime the shoulder-mounted tac nukes. Unless I had a girl. Daddy’s little girl I’d let go nuclear at twelve. Girls are more responsible than boys.

  3. Comment by kalquessa:

    I am e-mailing your historical notes to my dad. They are just plain awesome.

  4. Comment by admin:

    This is NOT Tor! This is editor Mike McPhail of MCP-Concepts who designed the image himself. The book is being put out by Elder Sign Press.

    http://www.mcp-concepts.com/works/works-BTH.htm

    Besides, the copyeditors at Tor are perfectly nice to me. I’m the one who keeps missing spelling errors when I double and triple check.

  5. Comment by stevewilson:

    Heh. Very ‘2006 and all that’.

    Of course, the X in Xmas is actually the Greek Chi, and is an abbreviation of Christ.

    Which makes it ironic when people use Xmas in an anti-Christian way.

    • Comment by admin:

      Διάβασα και γράφω τη γλώσσα των Ελλήνων, εάν αργά και κακώς. Ξέρω πώς να συλλαβίσω τις επιστολές του ονόματος του Λόρδου μου.

      (I read and write the tongue of the Hellenes, if slowly and poorly. I know how to spell the letters of my lord’s name.)

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