Captain Unamerica

From the pen of John Nolte over at Big Hollywood:

What a shocker. Captain America: The First Avenger will be Captain America in name only. According to this morning’s L.A. Times, director Joe Johnston is currently running around Comic-Con to reassure those wringing their hands with worry over the horrible idea that his $200 million tent-pole scheduled for a summer 2011 release might be too American-y, that it won’t be.

Read it and weep you suckers who thought Hollywood might give us this one. But at the same time, don’t forget to thank Johnston for disappointing us before we spent the ten bucks:

“We’re sort of putting a slightly different spin on Steve Rogers,” said Joe Johnston, whose past directing credits include “Jurassic Park III” and “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. “He’s a guy that wants to serve his country but he’s not a flag-waver. We’re reinterpretating sort of what the comic book version of Steve Rogers was.” …

“He wants to serve his country, but he’s not this sort of jingoistic American flag-waver,” Johnston said. “He’s just a good person. We make a point of that in the script: Don’t change who you are once you go from Steve Rogers to this super-soldier, you have to stay who you are inside, that’s really what’s important more than your strength and everything. It’ll be interesting and fun to put a different spin on the character…

My comment:People who hate America should not be allowed anywhere near beloved American icons. First, Superman is portrayed as a creepy-stalker-ish out-of-wedlock deadbeat dad. Now, this.

So the dimwittery-addicted Leftroid wants to make a freaking CAPTAIN AMERICA movie. He thinks that fans of the flag-waving, flag-wrapped star-spangled super-patriot who carries the unbreakable shield of the United States and had the Wings of the American Eagle on his flipping head, who has the American flag spraypainted on his torso, over which he wears red, white, and blue mail, the American star on his gloves, on his boots, and on his underpants, an 4-F who volunteered for a dangerous experimental drug because he could not tolerate not to fight for America when American was at war, that is the character the dimwittery-addicted Leftroid thinks the fans of Captain America want to see not wave a flag.

Captain flag-wave, whose shtick is that he dresses in the flag and waves a flag, and carries the flag on his shield, is the one Leftroid thinks we want to see not wave the flag.

No, Steve Rogers, a Yankee Doodle Dandy born on the Fourth of July, now stands for the nihilist-postmodern me-first narcissist principle that I have to stay who I am, and that the me-ness of me is more important than saving lives, hitting Hitler, mashing Mussolini, toppling Tojo, smashing the Axis powers, Ruskie spies, organized crime, HYDRA, the Red Skull, AIM, Baron Zemo, the Masters of Evil, the Adaptoid, Trapster or Batroc the Leaper. Yes, my dear postmodern post-thinking post-Americans of post-America, Captain America now represents the Me-ness of Me.

MY PREDICTION: In the film version, Captain America will beat the snot out of George Bush and Sarah Palin, free the prisoners at Gitmo, perform an abortion on the Black Widow, erect a Mosque at Ground Zero, apologize to the Sultan of Oilcanistan, shut down talk radio, arrest the Pope, outlaw firearms, and perform a wedding between a loving yet wise gay couple. Are those not the things that make America truly great?

Just shoot him again. And screw you, Stan Lee.

When this turns out to be a Skrull, call me. Otherwise, screw you, Stan Lee.