Play the Casting Couch Game
Posted on 14 December 2011
A reprint of an article from 2007, for those of you who have not seen it.
This is a question for anyone out there who read my book, ORPHANS OF CHAOS. If they made it into a movie, whom would you pick for the various roles?You are allowed to pick actors and actresses from when they are younger than they are, so that “Harrison Ford When He Was Young” is a perfectly legit choice.
I am not very good at this game, since no one seems quite to be what I imagined, but here below are some suggestions.
I could not find anyone who looks like Victor Triumph, who is cool, blond, and stoical. This is the closest I could get.
Alison Doody as Amelia Windrose. Picture her in flight helmet, goggles, and jodhpurs
Lindsay Lohan as Vanity Fair.
Vanity is supposed to be somewhat well-endowed and cheerful. I am not sure if Lohan is the best choice.
Kate Winslet when she is a redhead could also play Vanity. Note large green eyes.
Mario Lopez (Slater) as Colin Mc FirBolg. Shown here with his shirt off.
This one was hard to cast, because he is described as “built like a wrestler”– most actors these days are slim and boyish.
Lopez fits the bill because he has that devil-may-care grin that is pure Colin.
Hugh Grant as Quentin Nemo.
He would have to be cgi’s to be short and young, but he has that earnest look we want in a Quentin.
Of course, this overlooks the more obvious choice:
Oh, come on. You were thinking it.
OKAY! Bad Guys:
Brian Blessed as Headmaster Boggin.
I realize that Boggin is supposed to be redheaded and cleanshaven, but Brian Blessed has the right attitude, and hey, its a movie, so we will be lucky if they don’t change the Greek pantheon into a White Separatist Terrorist group, so don’t gripe.
For the movie version, we can add a scene where Boggin discovers that Colin Mac FirBolg is still alive, so that Brian Blessed can belt out with roaring wonder: “Colin Mac Firbolg ALIVE!! And approaching on a Hawkman rocket-cycle?!!”
Ben Kingsley as Ananias Fell.
Maybe him. Or Michael Ansara (The guy who does the voice of Dr. Freeze on Batman.)
(Fanboys will recognize him as Kang the Klingon on Star Trek)
Margaret Hamilton as Mrs. Wren. The obvious choice.
Freddie Jones as Grendel Glum. You should have seen him in COLDCOMFORT FARM.
Grace Kelly as Miss Daw. No one else has the perfect icy beauty.
Aishwarya Rai as the Hindu Princess Draupadi.
Okay, this character is not in my book, but its my blog, and so there is a completely gratuitous picture of Aishwarya Rai.
UPDATE
I just thought of a better choice for Amelia.
Helen Slater as Amelia Windrose.
Now there is a girl who looks like she runs track and can do 4-D geometry in her head.
What a cutie pie. If Grendel touches her again, he dies.
Speaking of which, I thought of a better choice for Grendel Glum.
The great Robert Newton. That’s more like it. Here is what he looks like underwater:
He can also play Mannanen the Seal King if they make LAST GUARDIAN OF EVERNESS into a talkie. Ha Har, maties!
Hm…
As mentioned earlier, I find the Orphans of Chaos to work better when portrayed as younger. Now, casting has never been my specialty in these discussions, but allow me to give my commentary. Or ban me from the blog. Whichever you wish.
Victor: I second that he is the hardest to cast. Blond men seem to be rare in Hollywood. What blond men there are tend to be evil, or at least jerks. I am unsure why this is. Add in that most sincere male characters/actors do not seem masculine these days. There are “devil may care but Colin does not” style heroes. Antiheroes exist in plenty. There are even legitimate heroes around of the male sex, yet they tend to be jokers of some kind, childish or immature to a greater or lesser extent. Victor I cannot help with. If I absolutely had to think of someone, dye David Henrie’s hair blond. He’s the closest I can think of on short notice.
Amelia: No question about it, Helen Slater worked, at least back in her day. Naturally she’s old enough to be my mother, so another actress would need to be called out if we were casting for a movie/series. Not putting enough thought into it, but maybe Britt Robinson? Avalon High at least gave a performance that I could see working for Amelia, with compassion and strength showing well. Alternatively, Kristen Bell? She’s got a lot of it down, though she’s probably 5 years too old for the role now. Final possibility, Jamie Lynn Spears? She has the humor, strength, and compassion of the character, but I don’t quite see the appearance or athleticism.
Vanity: First of all, the actress probably cannot be a redhead. Natural ones are rare, especially with the proper skills. Lindsey Lohan actually strikes me as working. She’s a very talented actress when she can be, though she’s got a lot of real life issues. Tossing looks out the window, perhaps Selena Gomez? Endowed and cheerful, with the charisma and skill at manipulation of Vanity down. Only issue there is that it would be a bit of a waste. Selena Gomez works best when playing her main lovable rogue character.
Colin: I know how he was described as well built, but I always see him more as slim and boyish, not sure why. Anyway, horrifying suggestion, but Taylor Lautner? (That Werewolf Kid From Twilight to most people). He’s got the size, shape, and age down. There are bits and pieces that might work of his skills. Still, I am hesitant to suggest him.
Quentin: Third Wizards of Waverly Place suggestion, but Jake T. Austin? He has an amazing ability to be completely serious when discussing the most silly of things, and that is vital for a proper Quentin. He is also a bit short, but not overwhelmingly so, which is good for Quentin.
Less sure about any of the villains.
Take all of this with a grain of salt. I am not one to follow actors and actresses.
You and I (see below) both suggested Taylor. There’s something very wrong with us.
lol
John should perhaps have a poll sometime for both of his readers to vote on the casting.
My main issue with casting is that I do not see Chronicles of Chaos as filmable.
This is NOT because of the fourth dimension, actually. I think Amelia could be portrayed convincingly entirely through her effects on the world. With the right effects it could be dramatic and very creepy.
My issue is with Amelia’s senses, and how much of the story was told. Amelia’s bizarre sense impressions convey a great deal of information that just couldn’t be inserted into a film or television episode, and this information is some of the coolest stuff, as well as explaining vital plot points, character development, just about everything.
This is a strength of the book as a book, but I do not think the series could be adapted because of this. There are other media that could do this. Roleplaying games, video games, and comic books could all do it because they can accept digressions that do not break their narrative flow, especially using text or cut scenes. But there’s no real equivalent for television/film.
I could definitely see a series or movie following them after the trilogy, but a direct adaptation of the trilogy seems like it would lose the heart of it.
As for Taylor? I do think he’s an appropriate Colin, and I stand by Jake T. Austin as Quentin. The others I am far less sure about and would tend to defer to others. Reeves as Victor though? I disagree. Just, not how I see him at all.
Oh we quite agree, like I said on my blog, this series is as “locked” into a novel/radio format as any saga I’ve ever seen.
But it’s still fun to dream.
Victor: Chris Carmack
Vanity: Shannon Lucio. http://blog.hdscreencaps.com/?p=180
Colin: Dylan Minnette (Jack’s son in the last season of LOST) http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1910255/
Quentin: Misha Collins (Castiel from Supernatural)
I would like to see Misha get more work (Collins to replace Bale as Batman! plz?), but he looks a bit older than I think Quinten should.
Michael Ansara also played Elric the technomage in Babylon 5
She may be too young but Chloe Moretz for Amelia. Chloe was pretty good in “Let me in”.
And maybe her Let me in co-star Kodi Smit McPhee for Colin or Quentin. He doesn’t seem like a Victor.
The younger actress could play Amelia during the flashback, as when they are all locked in the coal cellar telling stories of their forgotten homes.
Alison Doody as Amelia Windrose
Yeah, that will work.
HAS she done anything of note besides Indiana Jones?
What’s this? Grace Kelly’s nigh flawless beauty is ICY!? For shame, good sir, her face is like the glow of a cheery fire in mine hearth! For shame!
Brian Blessed would make an excellent Mulciber as well. Viggo Mortensen would do a good job as Mavors.
No opinion on Amelia, I’m not familiar with blondes. Although cosplayer Enji is pretty cute. http://enjinight.deviantart.com/gallery/26273505?offset=0#/d4df02v
Although… while I love Julie McNiven as a redhead (unhealthily so), I hear she’s a natural blonde.
http://img.poptower.com/pic-22243/julie-mcniven.jpg?d=1024 – Could work.
Vanity has only one choice: Renee Olstead (if this pic doesn’t scream Vanity, I don’t know what does: http://i2.listal.com/image/461701/600full-renee-olstead.jpg)
Victor does seem like the role a young Keanu Reeves was born to play.
And yes, Taylor Lautner has the looks for a Colin (http://www-deadline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/thumbnails/21354.jpg) and it would give the young man a chance to stretch his acting chops.
Quentin… that’s tough. I didn’t have many images for him (except myself because he was my fave and I’d want Vanity.
) Jay Baruchel for meta humor? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0059431/ Daniel Radcliffe would also be acceptable.
I do like Viggo Mortensen for Mavors (plus, lots of meta jokes there).
And who could ever turn down Brian Blessed.
Mark Pellegrino (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0671032/) for the main antagonist. (my mind is blanking on the names) Unless Richard Speight Jr is available. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeCmsZlPMFU)
Oh, and Jim Beaver for the trucker that helps out Amelia. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1ZWpCDM3mg) To question this is to be unamerican.
“Quentin… that’s tough. I didn’t have many images for him (except myself because he was my fave and I’d want Amelia.
)”
Fixed that for you
Jay Baruchel could work, though IMHO his voice isn’t that Quentin-ish. What about Billy Boyd? Hobbits and short warlocks are similar in some respects.
If we’re casting Lautner for Colin, how about Robert Pattinson for Victor? (though he may be getting tired of playing sparkly characters)
Whatever – redheads ftw.
And Billy Boyd could be interesting. I’d like to see him do more.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You sir, win +5 internets and my lifelong respect for that.
New to the boards but my roommate and I were just discussing this. Here are my choices, obviously make-up, hair dye, and such will need to be applied to some.
HEROES:
Victor Triumph – Armie Hammer (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2633165)
Amelia Windrose – Taylor Swift (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2938571)
Vanity Fair – Lana Del Rey (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2861328)
Colin mac FirBolg – Chris Hemsworth (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2380532)
Quentin Nemo – Andrew Garfield (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2404050)
OTHERS:
Boggin – Danny Huston (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/1177695)
Fell – David Strathairn (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2972507)
Mrs. Wren – Helena Bonham Carter (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2937341)
Miss Daw – Connie Nielsen (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2719960)
Grendel Glum – Tom Waits (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/1422384)
Lord Mavors – Mads Mikkelsen (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2859104)
Lady Cyprian – Miranda Kerr (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2891009)
Trismegistus – Brandon Routh (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2853833)
Mr. Archer – Michael Fassbender (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2982433)
Mulciber – Brendan Gleeson (http://www.listal.com/viewimage/1477159)
It is a sign of my age that I recognize not one of those names, except for Helena Bonham Carter.
If it helps any, Fassbender was young Magneto, Hemsworth was Thor, Gleeson was Mad-eye Moody, and Garfield will be playing Peter Parker in the new Spiderman.
It is a sign of my geekishness that I know exactly who Magneto, Thor, and Mad-Eye Moody are. I refuse to acknowledge the existence of any version of Spiderman not played by Tobey Maguire.
They exist in the same limbo that holds any version of Catwoman not played by Julie Newmar! Except, of course, for Ertha Kitt, who did a fine job, as did Lee Meriwether or Michelle Pfeiffer! And I am sure Anne Hathaway will do a perfect Catwoman. But ASIDE from those, uh, five or so actresses, there is NO ONE ELSE who can or should play this role!
I thought Colin looked a bit like Michael from Rosewell. But maybe more cheerful.
My friend KHeffron writes in with her casting choices:
Here are my picks for the five main characters in that series. Not an American in the bunch, either.
Vanity Fair: Lily Collins.
Amelia Windrose: Imogen Poots
Victor Triumph: Alex Pettyfer
Quentin Nemo: Freddie Highmore
Colin MacFirbolg: Iwan Rheon
Maybe William Moseley (Peter from Chronicles of Narnia) could be Victor. I dunno.
I would like to see Mavors in the movie format. I’d always pictured him carrying a sword in one hand, and a Glock in the other. And a mix of modern camouflage and Roman crimson for the uniform. That would be cool.
Maybe Clint Eastwood could have played Mavors ten or twenty years ago… now, though, I have no idea.
I don’t think age matters when deciding whom to cast in an entirely imaginary picture, because getting Taylor Swift or Alison Dooty or Grace Kelly to play the part of the female lead, is just as likely or just as impossible as getting Ginger Grant to play it, or Thalia the daughter of Apollo. If you want to cast John Wayne or Laurel Bacall in a role, go for it!