Movie Star!
Posted on 12 January 2012
Well, I finally got around to seeing the film in which (name dropping alert) Neil Gaiman and Joe Haldeman and David Brin and Corey Vidal* and I appear.
It is called The People Versus George Lucas—and it is directed Alexandre O. Phillippe, who interviewed me at 67th Worldcon, Anticipation, held in Montreal, 2009.
It is a documentary about the fanhate (a word coined just for this) for George Lucas, who so deeply impressed himself on our childhood imaginations.
I appear for exactly one line of dialog 1 hour, 2 minutes, 27 seconds into the documentary.
Here I am!
During the one-line clip, I am talking about my favorite topic,
MIDI-CHLORIANS
See? I *am* a science fiction author! It says so right there on the screen!
Now for the shocker: I do not look ridiculous on film, at least not to me. My voice does not sound high and stupid like it sounds in real life. I actually look dignified, and my voice is manly and deep.
Sure, this sounds like vanity, but I assure you most solemnly that every other photo I have ever seen of myself, and every other sound of my voice in tape, has annoyed me to no end. I tell people that I am a member of the Dakota tribal religion that forbids taking pictures because cameras steal one’s soul, merely so I can escape from the necessity of seeing one more ghastly unflattering photo of myself.
But, something this time was different. I look … normal. My voice sounds … normal.
Alexandre O Phillipe obviously meddled with me using special effects! Now I am beautiful! Now I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty!
Oops. Wait. Sorry, I was looking at a clip of Jar Jar Binks in Episode II casting the deciding vote to elevate Chancellor Palpatine to Emperor. I thought that was me. It is a common mistake.
(Just kidding. My trip to Montreal with the beautiful and talented Mrs Wright was a long-delayed honeymoon for the misses and me, and so perhaps to myself I look less cross than my normal wont.)
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* Footnote: What do you mean, you do not know who Corey Vidal is?
You guys did Worldcon for your honeymoon? Cool. My wife and I are renewing for our 20th next year, that may be the perfect thing for a 2nd honeymoon, although I suspect she would prefer comic-con. Due to my stellar intelligence I have mastered the art of capitulation over the years so comic-con it will probably be!
I got Star Wars on Trial. Was the back and forth between you and Stover real? Did it occur in real time or what?
The book is one of those few subjects that are just pure effortless mind candy to me. You mention a bacta-tank, I know exactly what you are talking about. Who was the original owner of C-3PO and R2-D2? Ah! According to the original movie or the prequels? Two different answers – in the originals it was Capt. Antilles. Don’t care about the prequels.
Nice photo btw. You actually look like an author. I look like Corey Vidal’s dad, but with a bigger head.
“Was the back and forth between you and Stover real? Did it occur in real time or what?”
I met Mr Stover at a convention and we had a blast talking about STAR WARS. When Glen Yeffeth approached me to participate in the Trial of Lucas, I was delighted that Mr Stover was involved. The actual questions and answers were by letter or email, so it did not occur in real time, but it did occur as written, and our previous conversation at the convention was sort of an unintended dress reversal, or, at least, we covered the same points.
I love STAR WARS. I tell you honestly, science fiction might have shrunk to the shelf space Westerns now occupy had it not been for George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan. I love STAR WARS, however, like a very feminine bride loves her man, that is, with an eye to fixing everything that is wrong with him, a love that does not worship.
George Lucas is the luckiest man in the entertainment industry, aside from Ringo Starr. So much fame for so little talent.
Ringo
- kept a rock-solid, steady beat
- was perfectly understated yet musical
- actually listened to the other musicians and willingly embraced a supporting role
- was good-humored about the whole thing.
Was he lucky to be the drummer for the Beatles rather than, say, Sugarloaf? Somewhat, but not really – the Beatles and especially George Martin knew what they needed – it was Ringo. His goofy aw, shucks manner just happen to click with fans – that was lucky-ish. But it never would have happened if he weren’t a rock-solid drummer willing to blend in with the talent around him.
So, just saying: Lucas is even *luckier* than Ringo.
BTW, I’m one of the doubtless millions who watched that whole midi-chlorians scene with my jaw in my lap – WTF!?!?! Inexplicable, pointless and stupid on so many levels. It almost makes Jar-Jar look less idiotic by comparison.
I understood the lazy writing point to the scene, being a lazy writer myself. The scene had to be a few short lines, and it had to show the audience that young Anakin Skywalker was Hot Stuff. So Qui Gon pulls out a Hot Stuff detector and points it at Anakin and the needle slams against the pin and smoke comes out. Now the audience knows Anakin is Something Big, and we do not need any explanation as to how Anakin can be powerful in the Force with no training. Because the Virgin Birth was not a big enough clue.
The oddest part is that no one I have ever met has liked that scene, despite that, from a technical viewpoint, that is the scene which makes STAR WARS science fiction, taking place in a natural universe with nothing but natural and material laws, and expels it from fairy tale or fantasy, taking place in a supernatural universe where mysterious and psychic forces lurk. One would think hardline science fiction purists would like the scene. Nope. Everyone hates it.
David Brin in his essay mentions studying Superman to allow science to learn to reproduce Kryptonian powers (an idea I kind of like, myself. Project Cadmus in the WB cartoons and YOUNG JUSTICE liked it too). If Jedi powers are biomolecular, due to microscopic mites, then you can push a Jedi into a juicer, crush him to paste, strain and concentrate and distill the essential microbes into a hypodermic, and inject yourself. (I recall that Doc McCoy did something similar to give the captured Enterprise officers telekenetic powers when they visited Plato’s Stepchildren.) But I am not sure the fans would like the Jedi Juicer, especially if Anankin were pushing ‘younglings’ into it.
Ironically, to save the scene all you would need to do is have the line say,
“Certain living things, even microbes, are strongly attracted to those in whom the force runs strong. Because of this mitochlordians counts are much higher in adepts who have been studying the Force for years. And yet this boy, with no training at all, has a higher mitochloridian count than even the highest and most ancient master jedis on record. I don’t know what can explain it. Unless …”
of course, had I been writing it, I would have changed other things as well, such as:
“He is the Beast of the Prophecy, destined to destroy our order. Our only hope is to raise him as one of us, teach him how to control the forces raging in him. You see, if the Force is so strong in him, the Dark Side is just as strong. No one can endure that amount of power and remain whole.”
The problem with your additional midi-chlorians sentence is that, while it does better explain things, it still totally breaks the mood/approach established in the three good movies: an endless stream of ridiculous technology, military tactics, geology/physics and so goes by with nary an explanation – and we’re cool with it, we’re along for the ride, the characters and the spectacle. If you start asking ANY questions of a scientific-ish nature, the thing collapses like a soviet 5-year plan in year 2.
My opinion: you just can’t go there in the Star Wars universe, because inviting ANY scientific scrutiny at all destroys the suspension of disbelief.
But, hey, you’re the guy who actually writes this stuff. Me couch potato, writing-wise.
One potato, two potato. I agree with you about this.
If you’re going to apply even a whiff of would-be scientific reasoning to Star Wars, you need to go back and do the whole thing over again from first principles. It’s pure fantasy, though tarted up with cool-looking gadgets (ganked from Flash Gordon) and things that go boom.
Well, I’m sure that in the second draft of the script, the line would be smoothed out.
“The Force holds the universe together. Those who are strong in the Force but have not become one with it attract the tides of the universe. This child is being tossed about in them, from Light Side to Dark Side. But if this child does not leave his anger and learn to become one with the Light Side, the Dark Side will take him in the end.”
You could sort of point out the readings when you were talking about the currents or tides of the universe.
You look like a kindly professor of paranormal research who probably has a night job involving a trench coat and a brace of pistols.
Have you figured out your Bacon number yet? Everyone who is in a movie has to know their Bacon number.
I need a life.
John C. Wright – The People vs. George Lucas – Ahmed Best – Lean on Me – Morgan Freeman – Robin Hood: POT – Kevin Costner – JFK – Kevin Bacon – 5 degrees
Or Mr. Wright is in the P vs. GL with David Brin who wrote what became The Postman starring Kevin Costner who starred with Kevin Bacon in JFK. 4 degrees
That was only 4 minutes of my life. I have wasted it on less!
Who cares about my Bacon number? What is my ASIMOV NUMBER?
I appeared in an anthology with Robert Silverberg, SONGS OF THE DYING EARTH, who collaborated with Isaac on NIGHTFALL, the director’s cut. That gives me an Asimov number of 2.
[...] lark, to pad out its pseudo-religious significance. Witness for the prosecution John C. Wright disabuses Stover of that notion quite brilliantly during the cross-examination. Robert A. Metzger [...]