Cowboys and Martians
Pierce O writes:
I’m afraid your skepticism of Hollywood’s ability to do a proper John Carter
film has been confirmed: http://latino-review.com/2012/02/16/readers-review-john-carter/. It looks like they’ve managed to destroy everything about the characters that made them great: John Carter isn’t a selfless, clean limbed, fighting man; Red Martians attempt to broker peace through an arranged marriage; Tal Hajus is the one who wants to challenge Tars Tarkas; etc., etc., ad nauseam. Meh. Perhaps I’ll go see it as a form of Lenten penance.
Hmm. Reading the article over at Latin-review, I see that John Carter does not, in the opening scene of the epic, ride to save his friend butchered by savage Apaches, make a suicidally brave assault on the camp, and get chased into a cave where the Apaches fear to follow. No, instead, an anonymous correspondent described what can only be called a politically corrected scene:
“… American Civil War veteran Carter is prospecting in Arizona. Being that
they are deep in Apache territory, an Army Colonel (played by an almost
unrecognizable Bryan Cranston) takes Carter into custody with the intent of
forcing him to join their fight against the Native Americans [sic]. After a series of fairly humorous escape attempts, Carter finally makes a real jail break and flees into the mountains on horseback, where he’s forced to save the Colonel’s life after the man and his pursuing soldiers have a run in with a tribe of natives. Seeking refuge in a cave the natives mysteriously fear, Carter has an encounter with a strange bald robed figure that causes him to be teleported to the red planet.”
Wow. That is just … amazingly stupid. John Carter is chased by US Cavalry because he refuses to help the evil White Man make war on the Indians. I am gob-stoppered.
Do the modern movie makers think a modern audience will not consider Apaches to be dangerous? They had to make the US Cavalry a la DANCES WITH WOLVES into the bad guys? I recall a time when having the Cavalry arrive was the salvation of the settlers and a cause for celebration in a film.
As for the rest, it sound like the movie makers introduced a stupid McGuffin of a superweapon to move the plot along, and turned Deja Thoris into Xena Warrior Princess — but since, according to the book, all Red Martian princess go armed at all times, that by itself might not be so obnoxious.
So I still have some hope for this film, but I also know that, in the same way Jackson could not portray Aragorn and Faramir in a LOTR film, Disney cannot portray John Carter. Political Correctness is focuses on two main thoughts: undermining authority and emasculating masculinity. The storybook hero, since roughly the time of Mallory, has always had two characteristics: he was both humble and ferocious. That is the paradox of chivalry: a man obedient to the authority of country, king, and God, and all the noble principles of fair play, who is also a very devil in combat, laughing as he slays. There is no humility in PC, because there is no authority aside from the ego, and there is no laughter in PC, except for mocking laughter such as imps laugh when they see fair and fine things fail, and they have no joy in battle.
I wish the Japanese had made this film. I do not know how many anime I have seen where the cartoon princes and warriors and knights behave in a perfectly chivalrous and honorable fashion, as the men of warlike societies do and must. They do not repent their past, but cherish it. When did we stop being able to make Cowboys and Indians movies, even when set on Mars, as Cowboys and Martians?
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
