I assume this seems funny only to me, since, at this date, I am the only one who has read my book so far. Some of the sentences have that odd, mechanical sound of a sentence translated by Google translate from a foreign language.
So that those who have not read the book will see the humor, I will add corrections and comments in parenthesis.
The Hermetic Millennia
John C. Wright
Tor, Dec 24 2012, $25.99
Crew members of the starship Hermetic discover the alien warehouse [sic: a Monument the size of a small moon], which contained [contains-agreement of tense] advanced knowledge and an energy source [the Monument does not contain an energy source, but circles a star made of antimatter, which is an energy source] way beyond what humanity knew [knows]. Menelaus Montrose and Zimen [Ximen] “Blackie” Del Azarchel had two diverse [divergent] visions of a future earth. Whereas Montrose wants his home planet to thrive with the shared discovery and prepares to challenge the alien menace, Blackie feels the need to reengineer the species to make them worthy of the warehouse [Monument] owners [,] the Domination of Hyades when they return [invade] in eight millennia to determine whether enslaving mankind is worthy of them [Other way around: whether mankind is worth enslaving][and a run on sentence]. Blackie wins the first round as he persuades other crew members this is the only way their species survives the return [invasion] [which happened in the first volume, in the opening chapters].
Meanwhile Menelaus turns to cryo sleep to be there when the Domination of Hyades return [returns] to harvest earthlings in eight millennia and his wife Rania travels in deep space to confront the Hyades’ executive leader [Actually correct! However, a run on sentence]. Only thirty-five years into his sleep [actually, 134 years, from 2401 to 2535], Sir Knight [Sir Guyon] awakens him. Apparently, Blackie’s Blue Men horde assaulted the tombs where Montrose and others lied [lie] dormant. [And this happens in AD 10515, and is not the reason Sir Guyon wakes him]. Obviously Blackie continues to prepare earth for the return [invasion] of the Hyades with him as overseer of the humans.
The second crew [volume] of the Hermetic [not the name of the series] science fiction thriller [not a thriller] (see Count to a Trillion) is an exhilarating complex tale as rhere [there] are two visions that compete for mankind’s future. Convoluted and difficult to read [not as difficult as this review] with so many competing concepts involved, readers who appreciate a profound look at the impact on society by a quantum [sic] advance in science and technology [not what the story is about] will enjoy this strong saga.
It would be petty of me to complain. The review is a favorable one, and the basic idea is correct, the she got most of the names right. I just suspect that Mrs Klausner copied a review from a foreign language website, auto-translated it, and posted it without reading it, or the book.
Still, getting reviewed is better than getting ignored! Still, back before I had my first book published, I had no reviews! I enjoy complaining about this much more than not having any reviews to complain about!
Besides, the book does not come out for another month.
You can preorder it here: http://www.amazon.com/The-Hermetic-Millennia-John-Wright/dp/076532928X
To aid your buying decision, please be advised that if you do not buy my books, I not be able to afford to feed my kitten, Fluffsnuffle, and therefore will shoot her rather than watch her starve, and it will be your fault.
She will appear as a ghost on moonless nights beneath your window sill, scratching and mewling pathetically to be let in out of the cold.
Ho ho! I am just kidding, gentle readers! If I were truly starving, I would not shoot Fluffsnuffle! Never! Not in a million years!
If I were starving, I would COOK her instead, along with her littermates, Whiskerdroop and Gigglenose. Yum, yum. Cat stew. This is what I will be having for Thanksgiving dinner if you fail to purchase the book.
Please consider carefully your options while deciding how many copies in hardback to buy for yourself, your Boy Scout Troop, all your neighbors, your county and statewide library system, and the entire population of Wales.