Matt Walsh checks his Cisgender Whiteness

This is the best Matt Walsh column EVER.

Mr Walsh receives an unintentional self-parody email from the lunatic asylum placed in the middle of the fever swamp in the Eighth Circle of Hell (Which, if you recall your Dante, is the home of the Left: Panderers & seducers, flatterers, simoniacs, soothsayers, grafters, hypocrites, thieves, false counselors, sowers of discord, falsifiers):

I read this email from a reader, and now I’ve spent the whole day checking all over my house to find my privilege. I don’t know, I must have misplaced it:

Hi Matt,

First I’d like to say that you are the absolute worst. I’ve got you blocked on Facebook and I’ve unfollowed anyone who Retweets your horrible bull sh*t. I think you’re a genuinely bad person who somehow stumbled upon a way to make a lot of money writing hateful sh*t on the internet. Congrats. You’re one of the internet’s most famous douchebags. Your mother must be so proud. I just want to tell you that the world has had enough of cisgender white guys whining about all of the evil women and minorities. Even though I’ve done everything to avoid your articles, for some reason I still come across them. I decided to read your last couple of posts, and all I saw was a privileged white middle class man telling women how to live our lives. You’ve been so protected and coddled that you don’t even realize how stupid you sound.

It’s easy when everything is handed to you in life. It’s easy when you don’t have to worry about rape, discrimination, microaggressions, and systematic oppression.

It’s easy when OUR ENTIRE SOCIETY is set up to give you, the Straight White Man, all of the privileges and advantages. The patriarchy exists to elevate you above everyone else, and you still have the f*cking nerve to complain that women are allowed to use birth control or gays are allowed to love each other? Life is easy for you. You sit at home and blog all day. You have no idea what it’s like for the rest of us. You have no idea what you have to go through when you don’t have the benefit of being a privileged white suburban male. I know you like to laugh about all of the “silly girls” in gender studies classes, but maybe you should actually do some research on the subject yourself. I can send you my textbooks if you want. White males have been responsible for the worst oppressions from the crusades all the way to f*cking slavery, and now you cry that your “religious freedom” is violated because women are using birth control? You’re f*cking disgusting. Check your privilege, assh*le.


Hi Kira,


Go ahead and assume that everything has been handed to me.

Assume that I was issued a White Dude Membership Card, and I can pull it out in any situation — job interview, traffic court, airport security, Six Flags, etc — and automatically receive first class treatment.

My comment: Why do these people even try? What is the purpose of this behavior? I have written many times trying to understand the heart of darkness called Progressivism, sometimes called Morlockery, but such public pronouncements of their own mental and moral inferiority seems to be a meaningless verbal ritual which they do for no reason to accomplish nothing, and then they get their heads metaphorically handed to them.

Read the whole thing, but especially linger over the postscripts:

P.S. Please use real words when you write to me. I like Dr. Seuss, too, but I think adult conversations require actual language. “Cisgender” is not a real word. As far as I can tell, it was just invented by some guy on the internet back in 1995. I know all words have to start somewhere, but when they’re born in a chatroom because a transsexual activist wanted to come up with a label that would normalize his behavior, I can’t help but balk.

‘Cisgender’ is a term regurgitated by pretentious snobs to describe a person who ‘identifies with the gender assigned to them at birth.’ In other words, a ‘cismale’ is just a male. He’s a man who is a man. We already have a word for him: man. But progressives are incapable of winning an argument without manipulating language, so now we have this other word for him.

A cis is a person who is who they are. Make sense?

Of course not.

Also, Kira, how dare you call me a man in the first place? The funny thing about ‘cisgender’ is that you automatically contradict yourself the moment you use it to describe anyone. If gender is fluid, and if, in this progressive utopia, ‘male’ and ‘female’ are but select options on a three-dimensional spectrum which allows all of us to be male, female, neither, both, or some mixture, then you cannot ever confidently identify another human being by their gender. I never told you that I identify by the gender assigned to me at birth, so, by your own convictions, only a reactionary Neanderthal would be so primitive as to hoist that identity upon me.

And even if I did tell you, at one point, that I identify as male and that I was born a male, how do you know that I haven’t since expanded my understanding of my own gender expression (or whatever)?

That’s the thing about you progressive ‘gender is non-binary’ types, you don’t even have the guts to live by your own rules.

P.P.S. I never said that women ‘shouldn’t be allowed to use birth control.’

P.P.P.S. I’ve never used the phrase ‘silly girls.’

P.P.P.P.S. I never said gays ‘shouldn’t be allowed to love each other.’ I’m not even sure how that law could be enforced in the first place.

P.P.P.P.P.S. White males are responsible for slavery? So the Egyptians, the Mayans, the Chinese, the Indians, the Arabs — these were all white civilizations, were they? And the Africans who both owned and sold slaves, they were also white? OK, then I guess the good news for us white folk is that we can now take credit for the pyramids and algebra. After all, if you’re going to hang the sins of every civilization around our necks, we should at least get to claim their achievements as well.

Or you could put down the gender books, pick up a history book, and realize that you’d be very hard pressed to find a form of evil unique to the white man. Our history is stained by violence and tyranny, but so is the history of all people, from Central America, to Africa, to China and beyond.

By the way, the Europeans and the Americans were among the first to abolish the terrible institution, while some countries in Africa and the Middle East have yet to come on board the abolition bandwagon. Maybe you should go talk to them.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I’m not sure how the Crusades are relevant here. Muslims violently conquered two-thirds of the Christian world, so Pope Urban II called a crusade to reclaim what was lost and protect Christian pilgrims in the Holy Land. This is an example of ‘white privilege’ because… because, why exactly? I’m confused. This seems to be an example of men rushing into battle to fight and die for a cause greater than themselves, just as men did at Yorktown, at Bull Run, at Normandy, and in countless other battles across the globe and throughout history. But, yes, I’m sure those cisgender males in those fields and on those beaches felt quite privileged while they laid there choking on their own blood, trying to keep their guts from spilling out of their stomachs.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. You’re right, my mother is proud. She always brags about me to her friends. “Your son is a heart surgeon? Well mine is one of the internet’s most famous douchebags.” A very prestigious title, indeed.

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