Thor Cropped of his Male Member
This organization once known as Marvel Comics was once known for producing funloving, loud and brash and well-beloved superhero comics. Now they are known for having once having had produced beloved superhero comics which are now made into successful movies for nostalgic geeks like me. (I stopped reading comics when they killed off Captain America during the Bush Derangement Syndrome story arc. Have they resurrected him yet?)
Aside from licensing intellectual property to way cool movies and way cool video games, these companies are fairly worthless, having fallen long ago in the Long March through our Institutions to the powers of Political Correctness, and thrown aside all modicum of story telling ability. Don’t believe me? Name a major character invented by Marvel in say, forty years, since 1974? Do you buy his title?
Marvel has apparently been jealous of DC’s rousing failure with their NEW 52, and decided to race them to the bottom to see who could go out of business first.
Here is the press release from Marvel Comics. I have not changed a word. This is not a parody.
Official Press Release
Marvel is excited to announce an all-new era for the God of Thunder in brand new series, THOR, written by Jason Aaron (Thor: God of Thunder, Original Sin) complimented with art from Russell Dauterman (Cyclops).
This October, Marvel Comics evolves once again in one of the most shocking and exciting changes ever to shake one of Marvel’s “big three” – Captain America, Iron Man and Thor – Marvel Comics will be introducing an all-new THOR, GOD OF THUNDER.
No longer is the classic male hero able to hold the mighty hammer, Mjölnir, a brand new female hero will emerge who will be worthy of the name THOR. Who is she? Where did she come from and what is her connection to Asgard and the Marvel Universe?
“The inscription on Thor’s hammer reads ‘Whosoever holds this hammer, if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.’ Well it’s time to update that inscription,” says Marvel editor Wil Moss.
“The new Thor continues Marvel’s proud tradition of strong female characters like Captain Marvel, Storm, Black Widow and more. And this new Thor isn’t a temporary female substitute – she’s now the one and only Thor, and she is worthy!”
Series writer Jason Aaron emphasizes, “This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is THOR. This is the THOR of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before.”
THOR is the latest in the ever-growing and long list of female-centric titles that continues to invite new readers into the Marvel Universe. This female THOR is the 8th title to feature a lead female protagonist and aims to speak directly to an audience that long was not the target for Super Hero comic books in America: women and girls.
My Comment. As a publicity stunt, this certainly worked. Nothing would have gotten me to even notice what was happening in the dying dead-end comic world had the anti-editor Moss not decided to desecrate yet another bit of our four-color childhood, and bite all fanboys collectively in the yarbles.
Here is the concept art for She-Thor, the Estrogen Avenger, Princess of Thunder:
Compare it with what is being surrendered:
The inanity of insanity is too great, and I have lost the power of speech for a moment. Until I recover, I will call upon that distaff devil and fellow member of the United Underworld, Sarah Hoyt, to speak for me, to explain this inane insanity.
I here quote only a modicum of her superb wisdom:
I have, some years ago, identified the process by which left-leaning institutions die. Someone had asked me why an sf editor I will not name, having killed three magazines, got given yet another to kill, and why each magazine was successively more leftist. This was compared to the process by which news magazines and media when in trouble because too leftist for the general public, go hard left just before they die. (Also known as the left-leaning-death-roll.)
Because I was in a field where this (then)worked, I had to explain to the people I was talking to that this happens because in fields that are 90% or more left, this works. See, if your magazine/newspaper/tv station goes under because you’re incompetent, no one is going to give you another job.
But if your magazine/newspaper/tv station goes under because you’re “too far left” then the left – aka the rest of your field. Aka those who give awards and jobs – perceive you as a hero, suffering for your convictions, and promptly give you another job.
So, if you’re an incompetent idiot, and your business is failing, your best way to cover it up and assure your survival in the field, is to run as far left as fast as you can. This has been trained in at the back of the brain of most people in the media and entertainment by DECADES of this strategy working just fine.
[…]
What did you expect of Marxists? Contact with reality? If they had that, they wouldn’t be Marxists, a theory that requires you to be a blind fool who believes in wishcasting.
Read the whole thing here: http://accordingtohoyt.com/2014/06/19/the-roll-and-flail/
I have recovered my powers of speech and can comment further. Is Marvel Comics out of its collective ever-lovin’ mind? Do they not care if they lose 80% of their few remaining readers?
Does Marvel actually think fangirls want to read about girls acting macho and kicking ass?
And if you wanted to do a Norse Goddess ass-kicker superheroine, what in the name of Nastrond is wrong with Sif, or Valkyrie, or any other established Marvel Norse heroine?
Is there anything wrong with either of these Nordic she-soldiers?
Ah, but the point of Political Correctness is not to tell a story and make it good, but to take a good story and ruin it.
Fanboys, I know, like looking at woman warriors that are leggy and busty and dress in skintight black leather.
If skintight catsuits are unavailable for female warrior wear, there is always the fan favorite bathing suit. The bathing suit can be chainmail …
… or the bathing suit can be made of the American flag.
But the important thing in combat is to show a lot of cleavage. I think it is fairly clear that the fanboys are not primarily attracted the heroic stature, muscles, strength, and manly chivalry of these woman warriors.
And if they absolutely, positively HAD to make Thor into a girl, why could Marvel not make her into a cheesecake girl in a chainmail bathing suit, as is the mighty Marvel tradition?
But Marvel says the way to attract the female fans is not to have more romance, or more love stories, or more Loki, but instead to have beefy females who look like Soviet-era lady weightlifters smashing trolls in the tusks with a honking big hammer.
Really? I thought girls LIKED Loki? I am not sure why. Just because he is a Bad Boy and rebel who plays by his own rules but is tormented by inner demons and has dreamboat eyes blue as laser beams shot through sapphires? Girls! Who can figure out what they like?
Well, right now Loki, lord of mischief, is laughing his royal ass off.
Because now his hated rival and brother is his sister.
Villains are surely intimidated by your soft, kissing-sweet red lips, Thor!
Laugh not too soon, proud god of evil! Who knows where the fun-hating story-killing emasculating braindeadness of Political Correctness will strike next?!
UPDATE 1: For advanced reading on this topic, see here: http://hislordshipsdomain.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-story-of-story-sort-of-comic.html
UPDATE 2: Marvel just announced that Captain America will be a Black man. I am not making this up: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/marvel-announces-new-captain-america-719135 (It is Falcon, a character I’ve always liked, and who was a total buttkicking badass in the last movie where they made his wings into a waycool jetpack, not to mention Cap’s longtime sidekick, so it is not as silly as it seems, but, meh, whatever).
Myself, I would like to see Captain America as a girl. But that is because girls look cute when dressed in boy’s clothing.
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
