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A Grocery List

A fan remarks:

“I would rather read Wright’s grocery list than any of the “literary” stuff in the genre now.”

How funny you should mention that! I happen to have my grocery list right here.

Items to pick up:

  • A pound of Apples, despite that this mortal fruit is the one whose taste brought all our woe in paradise;
  • A sack of flour, child of an unworthy grain, those firstfruits offered by the first murderer and his first victim, his brother, which horrid fratricide to this day we repeat;
  • Four heads of Lettuce, which the antediluvians ate, meat being forbidden to them.
  • A pounds of Beef, eaten by humans for the first time under the gracious light of a rainbow, wonder unadored ere then.
  • A rack of Lamb, eaten when the angel of death passed over the chosen seed of Abraham
  • Remember to get some lunchmeat for the kids.
  • A quart of Milk and a jar of Honey — to remind us of a great promise.
  • And, finally, remember to get a loaf of bread and a bottle of wine, to remind us of the one and only time the blood of the divine was shed on this dark and morbid globe we call the earth.
  • Fried fish, as was eaten by the shores of the sea on Easter Sunday, as Peter was asked three times whom he loved.
  • Also, a package of turkey, justly renowned as the humblest meat from the stupidest bird eaten with prayers of thanksgiving by the Pilgrim fathers who bless and planted this nation, whose harvest was the freest and greatest people Earth has ever known: under socialism, you could not nip down to the store and buy these things, or any things, since socialism spends human blood and purchases nothing but misery and want.
About

John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.

April 18, 2015 @ 2:46 am
Drollery