Reply from the Chinese Sage

Guest Post from Nostreculsus. Alas, I lost the answers for question 6 through 10. The words below are his:

My apologies if this post is a bit long, but after reading the comments of the patrician Roman and of the Christian, I ventured to ask a Chinese sage about Mr Lombardi’s code of life.

How does he compare with the ancient man?

PajamaBoy02vsupanga
PAJAMA BOY CHINESE SAGE
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.1. When you are laboring for others let it be with the same zeal as if it were for yourself.
2. The modern man never lets other people know when his confidence has sunk. He acts as if everything is going swimmingly until it is.2. The superior man makes the difficulty to be overcome his first interest; success only comes later.
3. The modern man is considerate. At the movie theater, he won’t munch down a mouthful of popcorn during a quiet moment. He waits for some ruckus.3. Make no movement which is contrary to propriety.
4. The modern man doesn’t cut the fatty or charred bits off his fillet. Every bite of steak is a privilege, and it all goes down the hatch.4. Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
5. The modern man won’t blow 10 minutes of his life looking for the best parking spot. He finds a reasonable one and puts his car between the lines.5. Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.
6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.6. It is better to do one’s own duty, however defective it may be, than to follow the duty of another, however well one may perform it.
7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.  7. When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. 
8. The modern man uses the proper names for things. For example, he’ll say “helicopter,” not “chopper” like some gauche simpleton.8. If names be not correct, language is not in accordance with the truth of things. If language be not in accordance with the truth of things, affairs cannot be carried on to success. When affairs cannot be carried on to success, proprieties and music do not flourish. When proprieties and music do not flourish, punishments will not be properly awarded. When punishments are not properly awarded, the people do not know how to move hand or foot.
Therefore a superior man considers it necessary that the names he uses may be spoken appropriately. The correct name for this inferior man is “imperial court eunuch”.
9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day. 9. In family life, be completely present.
10. The modern man makes sure the dishes on the rack have dried completely before putting them away. 10. He who does his duty as his own nature reveals it, never sins.
11. The modern man has never “pinned” a tweet, and he never will.11. Look not at what is contrary to propriety.
12. The modern man checks the status of his Irish Spring bar before jumping in for a wash. Too small, it gets swapped out.12. A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
13. The modern man listens to Wu-Tang at least once a week.13. Listen not to what is contrary to propriety.
14. The modern man still jots down his grocery list on a piece of scratch paper. The market is no place for his face to be buried in the phone.14. The cautious seldom err.
15. The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords.15. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.16. From caring comes courage.
17. Does the modern man have a melon baller? What do you think? How else would the cantaloupe, watermelon and honeydew he serves be so uniformly shaped?17. The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.
18. The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.18. He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry.19. Great acts are made up of small deeds.
20. On occasion, the modern man is the little spoon. Some nights, when he is feeling down or vulnerable, he needs an emotional and physical shield.20. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.
21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.21. When anger rises, think of the consequences
22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.22. Make no movement which is contrary to propriety.
23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).23. The wise man does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
24. The modern man doesn’t get hung up on his phone’s battery percentage. If it needs to run flat, so be it.24. Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy.
25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.25. He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious.
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.26.Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.
27. People aren’t sure if the modern man is a good dancer or not. That is, until the D.J. plays his jam and he goes out there and puts on a clinic.27. Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.

 

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