Dear Amazon.com

Where is my copy of SOLDIER OF SIDON, a book I have been waiting for since the late 1980’s? I have now seen the book for sale in dealer’s rooms at SF conventions, and for sale in the bookstore, but my preordered copy has not yet arrived. Why don’t you advertise “Pre-order NOW and have your book arrive LATER THAN if you just wait and bought it at Borders”?

Send it by today, Amazon, before I forget what happened in the first two books!

(NOTE: this would be really really funny if (1) you’d read SOLDIER IN THE MIST and if (2) it were actually funny instead of being painfully, woefully not-funny.)