An Exemplar of the Feminine
A very dear and lifelong friend of mine writes in with her own comment about the femininity of the prior generation. The words below are hers:
My parents met at college in the late 40s/early 50s. My father, not born rich, was in a fraternity, recommended by his childhood friend whose father was a very well-paid official at the mine where my grandfather worked as a carpenter and overseer. Daddy is wicked smart, and having served in World War II, was ready for a more relaxed pace.
My mother joined a sorority where they picked her up largely, she said, because she would greatly improve the group’s GPA. She was tiny and gorgeous. … when my father and she were dating (he borrowed money from his uncle at interest to give her a red rose every day), one of his fraternity brothers happened to see her walking down the sidewalk. The fraternity brother whistled and declared that was the girl he was going to marry. My father pointed out that she was already seeing him. His friend said he wanted to ask her out anyway. Was it okay by him? Daddy said you can ask her, but she won’t. She wouldn’t. No flirt was my mother. Anyhow, the boys in the fraternity wanted to make her their sweetheart. It is an honorable position. But my father wasn’t keen on it. Probably protective. I looked up what that meant and its definition really addresses what I think true femininity is about.
A fraternity sweetheart is elected by the men of the fraternity to serve as the House sweetheart, She is the female face of the fraternity and spends allot of time helping with events and projects, usually once a week she is invited to a dinner at the house, all of the men wear shirts and ties and are on their best behavior. Usually the sweetheart is a sorority girl, but not always. The sweetheart is held in very high regard and is treated with absolute dignity and respect. It is not a beauty contest, she must have good moral character, have excellent grades and be able to speak in front of a crowd. Being pretty does not hurt but it will not win the right to be called sweetheart.
A week long contest is held in order to crown a house sweetheart. The contest is judged by the entire fraternity. The contest consists of raising money for charity, decorating sheets to hang on houses, essay contest, public speaking contest, and social interaction with members, usually the contestants try to bribe members with breakfast, cookies , candies and singing.
Once crowned sweetheart they rule for the entire year and become very close to the brothers, I know we had a song especially for the sweetheart and it was sung at all functions, and on her birthday. She is usually placed on a chair that is higher than all of the men and the men bow to her and always present her with a white rose as a sign of respect and fraternal friendship.
My mother may never have been an official fraternity sweetheart, but if you had seen her laid to rest by men in uniform, saluting her coffin through tears and placing red roses on it while taps was played, well, it was clear she had achieved that status.
[… ] the flowers marking stone’s corners are roses. That was deliberate and goes along with the their courtship. My father insisted the burial make it so that, in death, his sword arm would be free to protect her yet.
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
