Not Tired of Winning Yet LXXXII
This first topic is not due to Trump, and so does not belong in my Not Tired of Winning Yet category, but it gives me the same tingle of schadenfreude, so I add it as a collateral or secondary topic:
The National Parks Service has quietly removed signs warning visitors to Glacier National Park that they should take their selfies with the glacier now, since it would be gone by 2020 — a victim of climate change.
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The signs, installed during the Obama administration, warned tourists that the glaciers “will all be gone by the year 2020.” They’ve since been replaced by signs that claim climate change is still eroding the glaciers bit by bit, but that researchers can’t make an accurate prediction about when, precisely, the glaciers of Glacier National Park will disappear.
“When they completely disappear, however, will depend on how and when we act,” the sign now reads.
According to the United States Geological Survey, the Caller discovered, the size of the glaciers in any given year depend on the national park’s microclimate and not on the climate as a whole. The glaciers melt and freeze at different rates every year depending on weather and snowfall, and while computer models might have once predicted that they’d all but melt away by 2020, heavier snowfall has been a boon, increasing the glaciers’ overall size steadily since 2009.
In 2019, it seems, the glacier actually grew even more, thanks to a record-breaking Montana snowfall, stubbornly refusing to come into compliance with the Obama adminstration’s dire predictions.
So if Obama slowed the rise of the Oceans, we can assume Trump saved the Glaciers. Make the Ice Age Great Again!
In a related story, the events of Godzilla: Final Wars , Sealab 2020 , and Dark Angel, originally meant to happen in AD 2020, have been postponed or rescheduled, due to the threat of tariffs from the Trump Administration.
The events of Blade Runner, however, are happening right now in dystopian Los Angeles on schedule, except without the space travel, the replicants, and the giant blimps showing Japanese megacorp ads.
Arno Stark, the evil futuristic cousin of Tony Stark, also hails from this year, but the events in Endgame messed up our timeline, and so we do not even have the original Iron Man. In our universe, Iron Man is a fictional character, owned by the evil megacorp Disney, rather than by a more respectable firm, such as Lexcorp or Weyland-Yutani.
In other news, Joe Biden promises that, if elected, he will cure cancer. I assume he means to say that he will tear down the stars from the zodiacal constellation starting with Acubens , then moving on to Tarf, Asellus Borealis, Asellus Australis, Meleph, Tegmine, Nu Cancri and so on, in order.
I assume that he does not mean to say he has a cure the painful cellular degeneration disease, which he has failed to release during his eight years in the Obama Administration, since that would be an obtuse, cruel, and absurd boast. It would be a heartless thing to say to the fortunate survivors of the dread disease or the widows and orphans of the less fortunate.
In a related story, Joe Biden says Trump is an existential threat to the United States. That is correct: in less than the six years remaining of the Trump Administration, the United States will cease to exist, and the North American territory will be ruled over by the competing empires of intelligent Tigers, Apes, Lions and Evil Mutants from Jack Kirby’s KAMANDI.
Biden’s remarks did not make it clear how obliterating the ISIS threat, ushering in the most remarkable economic boom in history, curbing the ambitions of Red China and North Korea, strengthening our alliances in Israel and England, defanging the criminal gang known as the mainstream media, and otherwise restoring America to greatness, pose an existential threat to any part of America, except, perhaps, the uniparty swamp of corrupt plutocrats, globalists, satanist pederasts and news moguls who hitherto regarded America as their personal ATM, and the American taxpayer as their personal milk cows.
In other news, Trump’s threat of tariffs have won major concessions from Mexico to help halt the flood of migrants from Central and South America. The mainstream news is reporting this in an odd way, trying to make it out to be either nor a win, or due to Obama, or something.
I would also list Trump’s D-Day Speech as a success, as well as his visit to England generally, despite the way our Democrat-controlled propaganda machine, otherwise known as the Mainstream Press, prefer to misrepresent the events.
But these are not fulfillment of campaign promises, so they are not, technically speaking, properly in the category of the endless winning from Trump.
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
