Battle Hymn of the Republic of Letters

This is from a friend of mine from school, written by one of our tutors. The in-joke here is that the stanza are chronological, according to the order the Great Books appear on our seminar list.

The Battle Hymn of the Republic of Letters

Mine mind has seen the glory of the th’Ideal of the Good,
That it’s not the same as Pleasure, I have firmly understood;
And I wouldn’t take the Tyrant’s power, even if I could;
I’m marching from the Cave.

Marching, marching toward the sunlight
Marching, marching toward the sunlight
Marching, marching toward the sunlight
I’m marching from the Cave.

The Fool conceives of God, but thinks the faithful are deceived,
Positing a “Greatest Being” whose being-ness is not believed,
Is a being that which something greater still can be conceived,
Which contradicts itself!

Ontological rebuttal,
Ontological rebuttal.
Faithlessness will ever scuttle,
Which contradicts itself.

The State of Nature’s character, we know from good report
To be very solitary, nasty, brutish, poor and short
So we give unto the Sovereign all every warship, gun and fort
For then we’ll all survive!

Ratify the Social Contract,
Ratify the Social Contract,
Ratify the Social Contract,
And then we’ll all survive!

Deterministic limits on my freedom are erased
By the transcendental ideality of time and space
So my atoms are determined, but my will’s a different case
It’s pure autonomy!

Hail the transcendental ego
Hail the transcendental ego
Hail the transcendental ego
It’s pure autonomy!

I’ve been through all the steps in my phenomenology
So it’s Master, Slave, or In-Between; it’s all the same to me:
I’m unhappy and I’m conscious, so I’m absolutely free
It’s all the Absolute!

I’ve undergone the dialectic
I’ve undergone the dialectic
I’ve undergone the dialectic
The State is Absolute!

My comment: Wise eyes recognizing the references will come to understand my contempt for the Iron Age of modern philosophy, or what passes for it, compared to the Golden Age known by the ancients. Please note the passage from the Socratic revulsion for tyranny to the mealy-mouthed Hegelian excuses for it.