So as I walk through life, from time to time, roughly four or five times an hour, I become aware of some additional fraud, falsehood, lie, lie by omission, lie by commission, white lie, black lie, or absurd suppression, misdirection, or elliptical ambiguity being perpetrated by the news media on the American public.
Today as I went down to the corner store for a cup of coffee, as is my habit every morn, I was told many a blaring, blazing, buffeting, bludgeoning headline being issued from the Mouth of Sauron. It seems some ten years or so of tax returns of President Trump, God-emperor of transawesomemania, Lord of Maga, and Man of Orangeness, had been illegally leaked to the public, a felony, and the News Media had a pre-prepared and coordinated response.
Indeed, I saw dozens and dozens of headlines from nigh a hundred papers or sources, and each and every one, one and all, each man jack of them, covered the same talking points in the same way, using the same language, all in glassy eyed unison as perfect as little boys bouncing balls on the sidewalks of planet Kamazotz in A WRINKLE IN TIME.
They all said Trump underpaid his taxes, or somehow cheated or gamed the system, when, in fact, he was paying millions in advance.
All the “tells” or signs that these remarks were half truths and whole lies, cynically meant to deceive the low-information voter who reads headlines and whose eyes glaze over during conversations involving fiscal technicalities, were present and abundant.
But who could explain, with gusto and zeal, the stinking and foetid and mephitic falsehoods of chthonic profundity piled to skyscraper height of bovine excreted material involved in the propaganda writings of the mainstream ministry of truth?
Dares any voice speak so clear?
And I thought to myself, thought I: Larry Correia, the Mountain Who Writes, is an accountant. Surely he sees through these lies.
I was so confident that he would have written a column fisking the arrant nonsense being spread with manure shovels about Mr. Trump and his taxes, that it was with a gust of jovial laughter that I sat at my desk, opened his website, and read:
NO, YOU IDIOTS. THAT’S NOT HOW TAXES WORK. – AN ACCOUNTANT’S GUIDE TO WHY YOU ARE A GULLIBLE MORON
Mr Correia’s famed and far-feared pen, sharper than a serpent’s tooth, draws blood in this fashion:
… this morning my feed is filled with people who don’t know shit about taxes retweeting the stupid opinions of other morons who also don’t know shit about taxes. This is just as annoying as last week when these same idiots all suddenly became Constitutional Scholars. Or the month before that when they were all experts on use of force laws and police tactics. Or the month before that when they suddenly got their epidemiology degrees from the University of Internet and turned into infectious disease experts.
Holy shit, you Dunning-Krugerands are annoying. Of course the comments are all about the “morality” of paying your “fair share”. Which isn’t how any of this works in real life. Just stop it with your vapid hot takes already. You clearly have a child-like grasp of a complex topic, and your words are making America dumber.
Such a fisking is like hearing the bass voice from the MORTAL KOMBAT game declare flawless victory: finish him!
Ah! Let praises rise to heaven that this generation has been blessed with a man so bald and gigantic, blessed with such back-alley brawling spirit of truth.
Let the triphammers and morningstar flails of truth batter and crush the skulls of the two-tongued lie-weasels!
Read on!
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