A reader with the unromantic name of “theobrominelove” takes me to task for my recent essay here on the failure to socialize the males. I welcome the criticism. Hat in hand, I will answer as honestly and earnestly as I may, and leave you, dear readers, to judge between us. ‘s bold comments are in bold.
“You seem to say that as chastity and gallantry are scorned, men do not know any better than to behave badly towards women.”
I don’t think I said anything about “not knowing any better” one way or the other. I said boys not taught self-command will grow up to be self-indulgent; boys not taught decency will grow up indecent.
In all these remarks, let us be clear, I am talking about general tendencies, not inevitabilities. It goes without saying that there will always be exceptions.
“And women, without the weapon of chastity and the allure of the mysterious, must be victims.”
More or less. Girls not taught to value chastity (in themselves or in potential mates) will tend to become women who undervalue it, or even despise it.
“They are thus doomed to loveless, unromantic marriages – or worse, the dreaded divorce. Doomed to sexual abuse. Doomed to never be respected and treasured.”
I don’t think I said anything about loveless, unromantic marriages.
“Because men, given freely available sex by promiscuous women, will not see the need to bless any woman with the virtues of respect or love.”
“In sum, in the sane society, your young men do not get to engage in sexual reproduction until and unless they vow eternal fidelity to their mates, and provide support for the offspring resulting from sexual reproduction. This encourages a romantic attitude toward marriage rather than a merely pragmatic one. If you are going to be chained for life to your mate, it were better far for you if you love her, and if your love is not merely fair-weather infatuation.”
“In other words, you say that men should not be held accountable for the abuse and violence they perpetuate.”
I believe I said the exact opposite.
Read the remainder of this entry »