I don’t have any works of my own up for a Hugo this year, but I urge all fans of non-Morlock science fiction to bestir themselves and vote.
The Evil Legion of Evil Authors has declared war on the Morlocks. Our Dark Lord, Vox Day of the Infinite Evil, helpfully posts his voting preferences.
Question: Must I vote exactly as the Dark Lord indicates?
Answer: Participation is voluntary, unless you have sold your soul and lost all capacity for free will by the painful implantation of a cybernetic brain-consumption cortex-worm (which, of course, as Grand Inquisitor, I wholly recommend).
Pre-formatted forms for soul-selling are available on sublevel 3 of the volcano island base of Darkstormhold, the office of Metaphysical Absorption and Abnegation next to the Haunted Chapel.
Merely approach the portal and speak into the Discontinuity in a loud, clear voice.
Avoid colloquial expressions, ambiguity, rhetorical questions, cant. Such things enrage the Otherlings. Use the sterilized meat cleaver if your terms require somatic payment.
Do not touch any physical objects seen to emerge from the Discontinuity! These are aportations, and qualified personnel will deal with them.
The macroscopic life forms will reply through the vocal cords of the Saracen’s Head mounted above the window. Speak the words of the binding written in ebon on the plaque, and insert your head in the unit.
The process is painless for us, and the side effects are permanent and highly disquieting.
Or, for your convenience, you could simply vote in the Hugo Awards with the Rabid Puppies. The long term effects on this area of spacetime are the same.
For myself, I will be voting in perfect lockstep with the Dark Lord, as this is the rational response to the ghastly condition to which the Puppy Kickers brought the once-respected Hugos last year.
So, yes, I will also be voting for Chuck Tingle and My Little Ponies. His is a name worthy of what this award has become.
My second reason for so voting is that if I attempt counter-regulationary thought, the cortex-worm clamps energetically on my Lobe of Volitional Excruciation, inducing vehement spasms.
Except the semiprozine vote: there I am voting for Sci Phi Magazine. I am puzzled that Vox Day did not recommend it, and he has not publicly said why. Hmph.
Less than two weeks to vote remain, so if you’re already registered, do not fail, please, to send in your ballot.
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