John C. Wright's Journal

There is no Disney animated feature film so bad and boring that it is not someone’s favorite since childhood. Even the worst have some redeeming qualities.

And this is, so far, the worst.

Robin Hood as a red fox is inspired, well drawn, and a delight to see, but little else in the film is.

ROBIN HOOD suffers badly from the flaws that begin to afflict all the company’s work during the dry period after JUNGLE BOOK, namely, the lack of thematic unity, of plot motion, of memorable characters, of high-quality draftsmanship. These stories are larded with silly slapstick and shallow schmaltz, and deflated by comedically non-threatening villains.

The one original conceit of the film is that the animals have their own version of the legend, one peopled with beasts from European woodland, Indian jungle, African savanna. Alan-a-Dale, here a rooster with a hicktown southern accent, will tell the tale in a folksy and utterly non-English fashion. The characters are then introduced by their species.

And we discover it is the cast of the JUNGLE BOOK playing dress-up. Read the remainder of this entry »

I felt it necessary to add a new text to my column reviewing the live action ONE PIECE. I copy it here for any readers not wishing to reread the whole column.

Reservations that ONE PIECE glamorizes piracy are absurdly misplaced: the pirate villains invented by Odo include some of the most sadistic and reprehensible, treacherous, vile and just plain annoying creatures imaginable. And Luffy is the worse pirate imaginable, because he commits no act of piracy throughout his career. He is merely too simple and goodhearted to realize that he is a storybook pirate set down into grim reality.

In a sense, Luffy is to piracy what Don Quixote is to knighthood: a silly man deceived by tall tales. But imagine how different Cervantes’ immortal hero would have been if written by Jack “King” Kirby and given the powers of a superhero like Mr. Fantastic: imagine a simple-minded yet goodhearted adventurer actually able to wreak a holy crusade against heathens and wizards and servants of sin, and to overturn giants whether disguised as windmills or not.  That is Monkey D. Luffy.

It is notable that Luffy during his career never kills anyone: he defeats them not just by kicking their asses, but, as it were, by overcoming their dreams.

After less than stellar attempts to adapt popular anime to live action, Netflix has learned to be faithful to the original material. Their attempt to adapt the magna and anime ONE PIECE by Odo Eiichiro is a remarkable success. Purists will be irked at every change made in the adaptation, justly so in some cases, and in others not.

Non-purists, that is, those with no familiarity with the original, or no clear memory, will enjoy a fine viewing experience: for the Netflix version is serviceable, occasionally brilliant, and makes only one or two missteps. Non-purists will not be comparing every line against the original, which is, in this reviewer’s opinion, the greatest work of genius of any medium or genre since Tolkien.

The non-purists will have a better time, since no craftsman, however skilled, can match once-in-a-lifetime genius. A skilled and honest adaptation of a work of inspired genius will always disappoint, because the genius-inspired version is better; but it will always satisfy if, as here, it is skilled and honest.

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I have been re-watching the classic Disney animated features in order, starting with SNOW WHITE. Seeing the films chronologically drives home the genius of Walt Disney himself, the mediocre period that followed his passing away, the wonder of the Disney Renaissance in the days of Howard Ashman and Alan Menken, the sad and sick degeneration thereafter, first into blandness, and next into wokeness.

ARISTOCATS (1970) is the first feature length animation put out by the studio after Walt’s passing, and, I am sad to report, it shows.

The animation quality is haphazard, the plot is slipshod, the characters are slapdash, the humor is slapstick, the scenes are uninteresting, the musical score is unmemorable, with the exception of one jazz piece, rousing but unfortunately pointless. The film is not recommended.

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This is reprint of a review from 2007, edited of some excess. 

Philip Pullman, author of The Golden Compass, hits back at critics who accuse him of peddling candy-coated atheism. “I am a story teller,” he said. “If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon.”

It is to laugh. Poor man. Poor, poor man. Is this not exactly what he has written?

Someone name for me a book that is more obviously a bit of preaching that simply abandoned its story line more blatantly?
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This is the least fantastic book that has ever been shelved with the fantasy.

I confess out the outset that TITUS GROAN is decidedly not to my taste, but I will try manfully to give an honest picture of its merit to anyone whose tastes differ from mine.

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I did a review of the Golden Age and deservedly forgotten MISS FURY comic penned by Tarpé Mills, where I said the writing had some clever ideas, but was turgid and slow, too wordy.

Not everyone has the same taste as mine, so, in all fairness, allow me to display a page taken from MISS FURY which shows a good example of everything both right and wrong.

This will also give me a chance to post two more cheesecake shots I could not fit into the column.

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Miss Fury is a forgotten heroine of the Golden Age. She is remembered these days, ironically, for her tangential resemblance to what she is not.

She first appeared as The Black Fury in April of 1941 as a Sunday comic strip by June Tarpé Mills, one of few women working in comics at the time, and it shows. There was a contemporaneous comic about a dark-coated stallion named Black Fury, so she, and her strip, was retitled Miss Fury in November 1941, and later gathered into comic book form.

Black Fury is remembered as the first a crime-fighting superheroine, dressed in a skintight black catsuit, complete with cat ears and claws, predating DC’s comics iconic Catwoman and Marvel’s clone Black Cat.

One article about Miss Fury (read in preparation for this column) asserted that the black leopard catsuit, worn for crimefighting, had the supernatural voodoo ability to bestow increased strength and speed on the wearer.

All this is untrue, or, at least, highly doubtful.

Miss Fury is not a superheroine. She is not Catwoman.

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SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE (2023) is the middle film of an animated trilogy beginning with SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE (2018) and to be continued in SPIDER-MAN: BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE (planned for 2024).

The screenplay was written by David Callaham, and by the producers Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. David Callaham also wrote for ANT-MAN and THE EXPENDIBLES as well as SHANG-SHI and the remake of MORTAL KOMBAT. I note the names because the writing was exceptional.

Two things surprised me about this film: first, it was much better than anticipated. Reviewers and friends who’d seen it either downplayed or did not see its virtues.

Second, it ends in a cliffhanger, which, again, I would have expected reviewers to mention.

Also surprising was the character of Spider-Gwen, whom I merely found annoying in the first film, in this was portrayed so sympathetically and so three-dimensionally, that at times I almost forgot her stupid half-shaved hairdo and eyebrow piercings.

To turn a dislikable character into a likable, or even a lovable one, displays a mastery of writing craft: the same virtuoso writing was on display with the character of Spider-Punk, disliked at first, then admired.

A final surprise was how little the wokeness there was, perhaps none.

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There are several draconian edicts to which all modern Hollywood productions must bow the kneel in servile homage:

• First, all romance is mixed race. No white male and white female suffer mutual attraction.
• Second, no female needs rescue, nor aid, nor advice. She may not gain through grit, learn lessons, make mistakes, or rally after failure. Perfect creatures need no improvement, make no mistakes, and never fail. Hence she can have no character growth, hence no character at all. Women cannot be women, and certainly not modest, feminine, nor maidenly nor maternal. She is never sexy.
• Third, no male can be portrayed displaying leadership, combative spirit, boldness. He can neither protect the weak nor inspire the faint. Men cannot be men.

I am very sad to say that DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THEIVES (2023) adheres to all these precepts precisely. Despite this, the film portrays a rollicking tale of sword and sorcery adventure, replete with action, danger, thrills & spills, sprinkled with wry jokes and good cheer.

Had it been written without the wokeness, this film would be a favorite of mine. But it was written with, so it is not.

Which puts me in the paradox of being unable either to recommend nor not to recommend this film.

You, dear reader, might not even see or notice the wokeness and so you will have a perfectly fine time. I do not wish to cheat you of your joy by warning you not to see it. On the other hand, if, as I am, you are allergic to wokeness, I do not wish to cheat you of payday money better spent on beer by urging you to go see it.

So I will say both yes and no.

The parts that were good were very good, and ticket buyers should reward Hollywood for doing its job in a fashion that was well above average. But the parts that were bad were politically correct, which I find not just unworkmanlike but vile and anti-human. And by vile, I mean evil. I find anti-whitism annoying, but I find anti-marriage abhorrent.

So, in short, the film was worth seeing, and do not regret the pittance I paid to watch it via a streaming service, but the political correctness prevented a satisfying ending.

Spoilers beyond this point.

***   ***   ***

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I took my children to see the computer-animated SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE this week, and a fine time was had by all. In sum, there were no liberal sucker punches, no subversive message, little or no wokeness.

The Princess was an all-American girl, an adventuring, platform-jumping tomboy, forthright and folksy. She was perfectly sweet but as unalike a princess as possible, so the film was not perfect.

The plot could have been tweaked and tightened up in a place or two — but these are minor complaints against an overall enjoyable and professional product, with a well-chosen soundtrack, expertly voice-acted, charming, funny, and, at times, moving.

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First things first: There are no “Woke” sucker punches in the film. Somehow, it escaped Cultural Revolution vandalism. However, the actresses lack glamor and sex appeal, for they are dressed and adorned most drably.

Drawbacks? Very few: There is perhaps some unevenness of tone, vacillating between slapstick and somber, too much shouting and screaming for my taste.

The film is otherwise engaging, and at times moving, deeper than the prior films, and darker, but with splendid visuals, action, thrills, moments grossly horrific, moments heartfelt to bring a tear, and at least one moment of supernatural awe.

There is also that most rare quality, wisdom, in the one line Rocket the space Raccoon says to his creator at their final confrontation. I would not dare spoil the surprise, but it is my favorite line in the film, perhaps in any film.

Well worth your time and ticket money. If, as seems likely, this is the last MCU film I ever see, it is a fine fare-thee-well.

The 1927 silent film METROPOLIS was released a few years ago in a restored version, with long missing scenes put back in place. The film includes visions as strange and prophetic as anything an astrologer could dream, including a tower fittingly called “Neubabelsberg” or “The New Tower of Babel” and including the Twelfth Night masquerade deception of a machine man dressed as a maiden.

I have been eagerly yearning, if not salivating, to own this restored version, ever since I heard the rumor of it.

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I am not a fan of SHREK nor any of its sequels. I am unamused by the potty humor, political correctness, and crass ugliness which characterizes Shrek’s world; and I am frankly repulsed by the whole sulfurous postmodern project of scrawling graffiti on beloved childhood classics of fable and fairy tale. Such vandalism is blasphemous; the cynicism is trite; the nihilism is sad.

Hence it is with almost boundless surprise to see a film set in this background, starring a spin-off character, reflecting none of these flaws, but instead being a pleasure to watch.

The humor is charming and good hearted, the tale is wholesome, the animation is handsome.

PUSS IN BOOTS 2 was, in fact, the best feature film I saw in 2022.

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